There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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