Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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