My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
