My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize