I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize