we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Randomize