4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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