Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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