i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
