Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
