We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
