dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
