im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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