I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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