No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
