I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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