I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
