my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
