so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
