omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
this hospital has no fireball
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
