stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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