it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
