i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize