before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
