It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
We named our party play list daddy issues
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
