Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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