8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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