I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
