it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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