Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
