Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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