he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
As shirtless as possible
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
