I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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