I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
