My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
