My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
