so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
