Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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