just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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