I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
