im gay
i know
yea but for you.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
