i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Randomize
