Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
