there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Can vaginas get frostbite?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
