whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
