allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
