I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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