hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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