it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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