I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize