u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
