Just cropdusted the office
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
