He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize