i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize