Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
