I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
